What I'd like to say

Toting around the family (with a brand new one) encourages lots of comments from onlookers.
Mostly, a lot of commiseration.
We are smack dab in the middle of transitioning, trust me, I feel it.
And yet, there are certain remarks that stick with me.
They are never the commiserating sort.
(the lactation consultant, in the hospital, while the children were loudly visiting my room and eating the complimentary pudding.)
"You have a beautiful family, and are so very blessed."
(the cashier at CVS while Roman and Lily were 15 feet away clutching tightly, and begging for, stuffed hamsters in the shape of bowling balls)
"You have fun with those kids. Enjoy them, have fun!"

I really want to be the kind of lady who remarks on the beauty.
Who sees the joyful possibility.
Because heaven knows the impact these words have had on me.

Poppy Love

The story of Poppy's birth is different in some small ways than my previous experiences.

But in the most important ways it was exactly the same as each of the others.

There was a lotta love and excitement in that room. The mood was relaxed and peaceful (thank you epidural/anesthesiologist) and I only pushed one time before she made her debut.

(it's obnoxious i know, you can hit me later)

I am grateful for the blessing of healthy babies and big hips. :)

I guess at this point, when I think about the story of Poppy's birth, I'm not thinking as much about time-lines and numbers anymore.

Stepping back a bit from it all I see another story,

about how Poppy has brought so much to our home.

My mom sewed the blue pillow for me.

It was a project I had tucked in the corner of my room for so long.

I am not a seamstress.

And I'm not sure why I always collect projects that require the sewing machine.

Also, my bed is clear.

Clear of laundry that is.

Friday after Poppy was born, I hit a personal slump.

I think the reality of 4 children certainly caught up with me.

(and that is an understatement)

I burst into tears no less than 3 times that day, and my sisters and mom caught wind.

They converged on my home Friday night and brought dinner, folded my mounds of laundry and then took Zach, Lily and Roman for overnights at their homes.

I'll take the opportunity to publicly thank my patient husband who put up

with endless "to-do" lists and never once complained or told me (rightfully so) I was insufferable/pushing it/a slave driver.

These lists were split down the middle.

My side and his side.

Except my side said things like *purchase pacifier *order this/that

...and his side looked more like *build bookshelves *paint and move furniture *make crib skirt (yes, he really did that...he's way better with a sewing machine by the way) *switch light fixtures *clean your nasty garage.

Ahhhhh, I only wish I was kidding.

I can laugh now, it doesn't all seem nearly as important as it did a few weeks ago.

The book ledges are in the boys room.

And below are pictures from the girls room.

A lot of love went into the preparations for Poppy's arrival.

Meals and well-wishes from family and friends have been abundant and so so appreciated.

It is humbling to realize just how essential the kind service of others has been to our family.

And although we have our moments of crazy,

everyone is a bit softer,

the kids beg to hold Poppy all the time,

and we are more interested in making the feeling in our home a little more heaven-like.

Poppy Sloan Painter

Born Sunday September 11, 2011

6lbs 4oz

18" long

As sweet as they come.

Lily is 5!

Lily's 5th Birthday was celebrated!

It was low key, all things considered, but cupcakes are one detail that is always attended to.

Lily told everyone she wanted Hello Kitty (stuff) and that is surely what she got!

Which reminds me, I would LOVE to find the family picture taken when I was just about her age (ok, maybe older).

My parents actually let me hold up my stuffed Hello Kitty in the family photo!

Not a family snapshot, but a studio portrait. HA!

So I guess I am saying, I understand the obsession.

Miss Lily is 100% awesomeness, and I feel like I have won the lottery having her home with me for another blessed year.

Happy FIVE Lily!

Preparation

Motherhood has grown on me.

Or rather, more accurately, helped me grow.

It's the daily interactions with these little people for sure,

but it is also the idea of pregnancy, and the actual pregnancy that has changed me so completely.

I always hate to admit this, but I bawled my eyes out when I discovered I was pregnant for the first time.

My life plan needed some readjustment.

Apparently I didn't learn much that go-round because my lesson was the same the second time that little test was (surprise!) positive.

Instead of crying, I laughed out loud and looked across the room at my 10 month old.

Oh, this would be fun.

And it was. I was getting the hang of it.

I thought I had the lesson down pat...it's important to be flexible, humble, and live with gratitude.

So finally, we planned the third. It was going to be perfect.

Three days after we confirmed the pregnancy, everything changed with employment, and life as we knew it.

Same lesson, just packaged in a different box.

I'm a slow learner.

After Roman was born, I was walking on the treadmill in our basement.

I alternated between looking at my peaceful little newborn who was swinging softly,

and glancing at the trees and grass that were really beginning the transformation to green.

An undeniable, and powerful thought entered my mind.

We were going to have another baby. And it would be a little girl.

Honestly, I felt ridiculous.

Must be the crazy hormones.

I had a newborn, how preposterous to think about another!

A few weeks passed.

But eventually I told David.

He smiled and said he felt the same thing.

The fourth pregnancy has been more difficult for me physically.

This past Sunday was spent trying to ignore contractions that were 2-3 minutes apart.

(I am nothing if not stubborn)

I wore high heels to church, I fed the missionaries, I kept going until finally,

Sunday night we headed to the hospital.

Pre-term labor.

The shot didn't work, but finally, and thankfully, the pills did.

More than once this gestational year I've been brought to tears.

Tired, in pain, fearful, and frustrated.

I try to remember that providently, I knew about this little girl.

And that brings peace, and hope, and makes me pretty darn excited to finally meet her.

Also, I think whatever growth that might have occurred,

has only just prepared me a bit better to be her mother.

And just maybe, that is the point.

(ps. if you've asked... my due date is Sept. 29th...

When I left the hospital Monday morning I was 2 1/2 and 70%...and just trying to make it to 37 weeks.

We shall see!)

Zachary Cannon - 1st Grade

Zachary started school on August 17th.

He was ready and so dang excited to get there.

We had our back to school dinner - he selected the same menu as last year :)

Then all the children got father's blessings...and they begged me to get one too!

I was glad I did.

Zach is loving Mrs. Pickett's first grade class.

He has homework every night...and weekly spelling tests too!

But all he could talk about this morning was the class pet (a chinchilla),

that was going to be making it's debut today.

I am so happy for him.

So relieved that he loves his teacher and everything about school.

But I miss him, and miss the lazy summer days.

Football is back again.

And this time around he has bigger cleats,

a mouthguard that cracks me up

(because it is molded to his missing two front bottom teeth),

is on the Orange Sharks team,

and is really loving pushing kids to the ground this year.

I say this a lot, but I will say it again...

Zach is a good and smart little boy.

He is an absolute blessing and truly easy to love to pieces.

Sometimes though, I realize he is growing up, transitioning from little boy.

Zachary had his first bike wreck last week, and split his chin open.

(if only there was a video of my 9-month pregnant self sprinting down the cul-de-sac)

I was doing the mom thing and trying my hardest to come up with a clever

way to prevent his football chin strap from reopening his wound.

But after I told him about my bandaid/cottonball contraption,

he politely told me that it would embarrass him, and he was fine without.

Oh boy, sometimes, you just have to learn to step back.

I am trying to learn to step back.

Just a little.

:)

(Zachary - this past weekend - at his first Chiefs game with his dad!!)

BHG

While in Des Moines for the State Fair, we toured the Better Homes and Gardens office and test kitchens.

Thanks to Kelly, my (second) cousin, who is the editor for Diabetic Living Magazine, we showed up late Saturday afternoon and peeked around an empty building.

My favorite parts...

*the big and luxurious kitchen all ready for a photoshoot

*the test kitchens, full of ingredients and recipes and looking like a fun place to be

*catching a glimpse into people's offices and seeing evidence of creativity

*those gardening goodies all disheveled in boxes but looking beautiful nonetheless

*listening to all the details...from the grocery buyer, to the recipe testers, stylists, photographers and editors...I couldn't decide which job might be my favorite!

*loved seeing each Meredith corp magazine, and the room where the magazine layouts were being worked on...so so cool.

Pretty, pretty, pretty around every corner.