Saturday, June 12, 2010

Home


If I'm being honest, there are days where my heart literally hurts from thinking about the life that almost was. I miss the blackberry summers and the girls from Portland, and I dream about the house we wanted to buy, the warm winter and of course, the girls in Houston.

I think, I could have been happy there.

I love my family, they are the best part about being back. But a year later, I am still trying to find my rhythm. I am where I am supposed to be, but I am still wondering what that means.

Earlier this week I stepped out onto my deck after a big storm. It was 8:30 at night and the final bits of sunset were trying desperately to peek through the thunderclouds. It was beautiful. It was peaceful.

I breathed in the green smell.

I looked around and was grateful that this was my personal view of the world.

10 comments:

Janet Johnson said...

Beautiful home! I know what you mean. Hard to believe I've been in VA for a year now, but I still think about KC and all we had there a lot. It's hard to resist the "what might have been" thoughts. :)

Nicole said...

sweet post :)

Court and Britt said...

I completely understand! I feel VERY lost here in Utah, especially since I never dreamed I would ever live in Provo. I am a planner and this was not part of my plan, I miss KC SOOO much, our life, our home, etc... but it is very nice to be close to family again. Transition stinks, huh!!! We'll get through it though:)

Christy said...

ahhh, i definitely miss houston... mostly the PEOPLE we had in houston-- you ladies and your families. sometimes it's hard with so much family around to have the tight knit friendships we had there. family is WONDERFUL, of course, but there's something to be said for a ward family and good friends. can't i have it all?!?!? :)

BUT, i am very happy you are home wtih your family. and it looks so pretty there. we need to visit sometime!

Lora said...

i loved it.

i wonder too sometimes if we took a wrong turn, or went down the wrong road? We are happy where we are, but it's the unknown that always gets your mind thinking...

thanks for the post.

With that view I could call that place home in a minute! ;)

K2 said...

I can totally empathize with you. Glad you are around though. Loves.

Jill Revell said...

wow...what an amazing view! houston is great, but the people is what made it wonderful. we miss ya!

Knowles Family said...

I found myself in a similar situation this morning, thinking about all of the decisions that have been made, either by me or for me, in the last 10 years. It's amazing how life takes it's twists and turns and you end up somewhere completely different than where you started out for...but the view from where you are is great!

Holbrook's said...

I feel ya, I am just sort of starting to find my groove...we've almost been here 2 years. Family is the best though I miss my KC friends so much my heart hurts...

Lauri said...

tara, you have such a gift of expression! these are thoughts I've had before but could never put into words. and gorgeous photos too!