Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The problem with wishing



I did get that laundry done.
But wouldn't you know it, I already have 5 new loads staring me in the face.
I also planted those pretty little peachy begonias, a gift from a thoughtful friend.
I'm willing spring to come.
Each day since Saturday, I check the weather three times a day.
My eyes shoot straight to Thursday because it's the first day where the little picture doesn't show clouds. Also, it is supposed to be 60 degrees. This afternoon they changed it to 63!
Oh, won't it be nice to feel that sunshine?
***
It's a fairly harmless thing...wishing for spring, but sometimes my wishing is a little more detrimental.
Lately, my mind is relentlessly focused on the day I will live in a house again.
My own house.
And I've thought of at least two dozen reasons why life will be better when it finally happens.
Make that 4 dozen.
And the problem, I am slowing realizing,
is that lack of home ownership is not my problem.
Wouldn't it be scary if I got that house, because the day will come,
and I was not as gloriously fulfilled as I imagine I will be?
Yeah. It makes me nervous.
So I am trying to work on it.
The answer to most of my personal issues always seems to be service.
When I get sick of the amount of time I spend thinking about myself, I try to
think about other people.
I wish I could skip right to the service part, but usually it takes me a long while of moping around before I am ready to move myself out of that funk.
***
I like springtime for a lot of reasons, one of which is the visible passage into a new season, a new time.
I've always thought changing seasons were a good opportunity for self evaluation.
Am I any different than I was this winter?
Time, it seems, will tell.

11 comments:

Jill Revell said...

girl, can you come decorate my house please?!

Claire said...

tara, i seriously love your guts. also LOVE the new pillows, and those begonias look very happy. come play on thursday!!!!!! please?!

Nicole said...

the begonias are beautiful... fresh flowers make a room! trust me, homeownership has it's ups and downs. when problems arise, they're YOUR problems. when housing prices go down, and you paid how much more for your house- well not a fun feeling. i'm sure you'll get your house soon enough... and it will be that much more perfect! for now, plant those begonias!!! :)

Kevin & Ashley said...

Well I hope it gets warm so you can go enjoy the sun!! It was very hot here today in Utah and I was wishing it was colder...haha.. funny? What is funny is that I always drive by tiny little houses with little gardens and say to Kevin "Wouldn't it be fun to have a cute little house?" and then he said I need to be content with what I have haha. By the way- adorabella pic of the house! Dang girl where did you get your interior design skills?

Christy said...

what a pretty room! while you're in houston decorating jill's place, swing on over to SLC and decorate mine. it was so nice here today. sunshine=heaven.

Jenny said...

The begonias look so pretty! What a great spot for them! :) Speaking of wishing... my wish is for your eye (for creative decorating, photography, etc). Happy Spring! :)

Lora said...

=) tara I love you!
you have to have at least one post that doesn't make me think you are cooler than the one before!

so far not happening

Isaura said...

it's all about making memories where you are and with what you have. it seems to me like you do that, and you do it very well!!
i find myself focusing a lot on what i don't have rather than all the blessings i do have. and in many a prayer, service has been my answer. your fresh flowers look beautiful and nice weather is always a plus to keep the spirits up. we have similar tastes, i love your decor. that same "p" sits in my entry way too. great minds i tell you ;)

Nicole said...

It's true, wishing doesn't always lead to a more simpler life but I think you have a pretty solid handle on keeping things simple and good.

Whit said...

Alls I gotta say to this is...AMEN!

Court and Britt said...

Oh Tara, I FEEL YOU! I spend lots of my days dreaming of the day I will get "MY" own home again :) I think it is pretty normal to want a place that is our own. We live in a DARLING little house, but it will never feel like mine! I think spring will make everything better :)!!! Thanks for the reminder to get out of the funk and think about someone else!