Wednesday, December 12, 2007

A House, A Home

One thing I will never forget is the last day I was there. Everything was gone...packed up and on its way to Oregon (courtesy of Dave). I had come back to do some touch up cleaning...and sort of...just hang out...one last time. I sat there and stared at all the things that were SO familiar to me. Paint colors, lighting fixtures, doorknobs, wood finishes...all "my touch"...and I was proud. But the emptiness reminded me of something else, what I was really sad to leave, afraid to loose, were the memories made in our home. It's kind of like the walls served as a trigger to remember...and if I wasn't there...would I forget?


I scribbled like mad into a notebook, all the beautiful things I could remember. Like how we brought Zach home from the hospital all bundled up in his car seat. We set him on the couch and sat across from him and just stared. The memory is SO vivid...we were parents! I wrote and wrote, and while I recorded, do you know where my kids were!? Each was lying on the floor of their room with a blankie and nothing else. Their rooms were barren like the rest of the house, and I laid them down not believing they would actually fall asleep....on the floor! But I guess they were comforted by the recognition of their 4 little walls. Their domain, their spot in the world, and it was cozy and safe. They didn't need beds or pictures on the wall. This shelter - our home - was enough.



Oh, I am a dweeb, I know. Its just that getting ready to move again...has got me thinking, reminiscing about it all. Dave got back from Houston today with lots of pictures and details...and I am excited to start the process. I just hope that I will feel the same way about another home!

9 comments:

Rapp Family said...

Way to go Tara! You made me cry. We sure miss you and I can totally imagine now, how hard it will be for us to leave our first home here in Kansas City. Best of luck with all the moving plans!

Missy said...

Oh Tara...this post was bitter sweet because while I'M loving my new home, I miss our other little home that we just left two weeks ago.

Good luck on your new move, I'm SURE you'll make it like your old one and realize that you'll never want to leave that one. Plus, everyone I know has good things to say about Houston.

I'd love to see more photos of your home(s).

Zach 'n' Jack said...

that is so sweet - I can't wait to have my own house someday! It's funny the difference for me though - I remember certain things when I pull stuff out of boxes to decorate each apartment we have moved to. I will be so sad for you to leave, but I'm excited for you to be closer to family and have another beautiful house!

dixonfamily said...

Tara, I am so glad that you did move to Oregon, even if it was for a short time. I have loved getting to know you and your sweet family. I am seriously going to fly you out to my house, whenever we get one and just let you decorate it. Plan on it, okay! Good luck with getting ready to move again soon. If you need any babysitting or any help at all, please let us know!

Court & Britt Jones said...

Tara, your house was so darling, I can totally understand why you would miss it so much!! We REALLY miss having you guys here and hope that you will come back someday:). It is weird how it is so hard to say good bye to things. I was REALLY sad when we sold our little silver suv(and I am not really an emotional person, unless I am pregnant of course), we needed more room and I loved our new car, but that car was the one that Court and I bought when McKinley was one week old and the same car I brought Alexis home from the hospital in. SILLY to be sad over a car, but I seriously was for a few days.

katandjason said...

you are too cute. i love your sentimentality! you are the bestest little decorator so i'm sure that wherever your new house is-whatever it looks like-it will become adorable. and now you can think "this was the first house we moved into in this next phase of our lives." maybe it will be a step up. it will be fun. don't you worry. feel free to come do my house too while your are at it!!

The Rylanders said...

Oh that totally made me cry! The good thing is you will always have the memories you made in your home. I know your next house will also feel like "home" to you because you will have your sweet family there with you. I agree with Alissa, I am glad that you moved out here for the short time that you did so I could finally meet you! You are an amazing woman and I feel like I've already learned so much from you in this short time!

Stacy Floden said...

Hi Tara! I found your blog from a link in someone elses. We sure do miss you all! Will you be back in town for the holidays?

Frau Bailey said...

The picture of Zach helping David mow the lawn brought a tear to my eye. Home is where your family is...your next home will have more memories.
Love ya!